LOVE AND ADDICTION
CAN BE EMOTIONAL
Dealing with a loved one in addiction or, hopefully, in recovery can be exhausting, nerve-wracking, frightening, and potentially destructive to any relationship. Emotions can fly at us from all directions and with little notice. They can be very unhealthy, particularly for those trying desperately to provide support for a struggling friend, family member or lover. Keeping emotions in check is hard work, but also necessary for all involved. There are three emotions in particular that can run a relationship off the recovery rails if not tended to with care. We’ll tackle one for each of the next three weeks.
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IT’S HARD AT FIRST
EARLY RECOVERY CAN BE A STRUGGLE
Life without drugs and alcohol. Wow, this is great. But how do I stay this way? It’s been said many times that getting sober is hard. Staying that way is harder. For those new to sobriety, there are many challenges early on. Recovery means change in your lifestyle, relationships, coping skills, you name it. Change can be a struggle. Here are a few struggles we should work hard to avoid.
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THE SOBER CLOSET
SHOULD I COME OUT?
You’re so very proud. You’re sober. It was hard getting there and staying there might very well be harder. But you’re sober. Your family is proud of you. And, perhaps a handful of close friends are too. But who else should know? Should you tell people at work? The neighbors? Should you just shout it to the world and post it? For many, this can be a really tough decision. Just the acknowledgment that you had a problem to begin with could be scary. Again, it’s a difficult decision and all of us need to work within our own comfort zones. But there are some pretty good reasons to come out of that sober closet if you’re interested in giving it a try.
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TEMPTED? DON’T DO IT.
SOME VERY GOOD REASONS NOT TO.
It’s happened before and it will again. That gnawing desire to have a drink or use. Even when deep into recovery, we can still get that craving for just one. That one that will lead to another and another and, well, you know the rest. It’s hard not to be able to drink like a normal person, but we have no choice and we know it. Even with all the tools of recovery at our disposal, it’s still tough. The next time you’re tempted, give some thought to these reasons not to.
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HERE’S A REMINDER
Sometimes we forget what we’re here for. Sometimes we forget to keep it simple and maybe we make things more complicated than they need to be. Maybe sometimes we need to take a step back and remember just what it is we are trying to accomplish and maintain. It might be a good idea to do a little review of what exactly recovery is, how we achieve it and recognize whether or not we are really moving forward with it. Here are some key elements that help define recovery from samhsa.gov.
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DON’T LET ISOLATION HURT YOUR RECOVERY
In sobriety, we are again able to do so many of the things we couldn’t or wouldn’t do while drinking and using. So liberating it is to be able to drive without worry, talk to others without slurring, work or study without firing or failing. We in recovery know we need to stay busy. We know we’ve got to have some structure and be active and stay occupied. We know we need to stay close to our support groups and peeps.
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